


Karkat Relaxing Squad

by teaandcharcoal



Series: Trans!Dave [11]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Background Poly, Bulges and Nooks, Earth C (Homestuck), M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Rough Sex, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Sex, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 15:39:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17900843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandcharcoal/pseuds/teaandcharcoal
Summary: Karkat's well-known for his short temper, but what most people don't realize is that his anger comes in a lot of flavors. Luckily, Dave is an expert and good at giving him what he needs to calm down.Part of my trans!dave series, but can stand on its own.





	Karkat Relaxing Squad

**Author's Note:**

> Like I mentioned in the summary, this is part of the trans!dave series. This is shortly after the post-canon time skip, and Dave's been on T about two months now. 
> 
> I know it's been a while. I'm not sure when I'm gonna get back into writing some stuff with plot for either this AU or my other AU, but I've been so stuck on figuring out what to write next for both of those it's been a little paralyzing, so I think maybe I just needed to write some smut for smut's sake. Enjoy!

One of the things that took you a long-ass time to learn about Karkat is that even though he feels very deeply and sincerely in a way that made you real uncomfortable to start with, those emotions can also switch from one to another to a third like a short circuiting traffic light. At first you thought he was faking it, that it was just some kind of front for whatever he was actually feeling – like your unflappable cool demeanor, Rose’s snide sarcasm, or John’s excitability. But as you became friends you began to figure out that it wasn’t the case, and by the time you started dating you realized what kind of stuff tended to get what kind of reaction out of him. And eventually, you learned how to activate the switch, and stop the inevitable five car pileup that happened when he was actually short circuiting.

Today is one of those days that needed your not-so-gentle touch. He’s out later than he was planning to, and when he comes home he comes home _pissed._ And this isn’t in the fun “been teased too much and now I wanna fuck someone hard to feel like a troll again” way or the cute “I’m grumpy because of something inconsequential so I need some snuggles and kisses.”  This is “Were it not that I keep my claws carefully trimmed so I can finger my boyfriends I would have torn out your throat with them and I was legitimately considering using my teeth anyway.” He doesn’t open the door; he slams it. He stands sort of hunched forward. His hair is all up on end, but his ears are pressed tight to his head. His pupils are blown wide and he has a big toothy snarl on his face. This is about as pissed as a troll can look.

“I am going to fucking kill those goddamn idiots,” is the first thing he says, like you needed confirmation.

You and John exchange a quick look.

Then John gets to his feet and says, “Right! Now that the car’s back I was gonna go and buy some… fish sticks! For dinner!”

Karkat opens his mouth to snap at John, but your boyfriend is already gone. Which is good because he was about two more seconds from painting a massive target on his back and you all know it. But your troll still lets out a frustrated growl as he rolls his eyes at the space John was just occupying.

You get to your feet and start to slowly approach him. “You wanna talk about it?” you ask.

“No.” He growls.

“Want me to put on a movie and talk about how great you are?”

“No!”

“Need me to fuck off too and we’ll meet back up later?”

He sighs. “No. You’re _fine._ Keep doing whatever. I don’t care.”

That… that is actually odd. Normally the last one is what he actually wants when he’s this upset. Which means… maybe your initial assessment was off.

“Hmm…” You tip your shades up and grin at him. “You wanna strife or fuck to get that aggression out?”

That throws him off guard. He blinks at you and his entire body relaxes just a hair. “I- maybe?”

“Which one?”

His ears snap back and his hair regains what volume it just lost. “I’m not in the mood to have my ass handed to me again. Been doing that all fucking day!”

“Hmm… Well then, process of elimination…” You’re close now. So damn close. But you don’t make the move. This isn’t your rodeo.

Luckily, Karkat knows just how to take the reins.

Or rather, your wrists. Which are suddenly on the wall. And your lips, which are being forced open to take his tongue. And now he’s pushing your legs apart and pressing his thigh into your crotch and oh wow this is quick even for an angry fuck.

Of course, you’re not exactly complaining. You’re too busy reciprocating the harsh kiss and humping his leg. God, fuck, two months ago it would have taken you way longer than this to get going. But here you all, sopping wet and aching for bulge like you weren’t fucking John less than two hours ago.

Goddamn, T is a hell of a drug.

When he finally decides to grace you with a bit of oxygen, all you say is “Where?”

Instead of answering, he pulls back the collar on your shirt and bites the junction of your chest and neck. You let out a shocked yelp. He’s biting harder than usual, and you’re surprised the initial attack didn’t break the skin. Fuck, you’re not usually into pain, but your nook throbs for him.

“Dammit, Karkat, where?!”

He continues to ignore you in favor of attempting to gnaw through your goddamn collarbone.

You growl and shove him off. “Fucking shit, dude, if I don’t get your bulge in like two minutes I’m gonna throw _you_ on the ground and take it myself!”

He blinks at you, wide-eyed. But you’re also surprised by the outburst. Normally you’re not like this. Normally once you get a guy hooked you’re happy to just make snide commentary and jokes until he’s ready to bone you. But not now. Now you are desperate and hormonal and _fucking horny._ And this feels weirdly good. You take a step towards him and grab the front of his shirt.

“One more time, dude. Where do you want to fuck me?”

But it feels even better when he snarls back and says. “You want it now? Well fucking take it!”

He undoes his fly and then shoves you down to your knees. In a matter of moments you’re eye-level with a coiling, red tentacle. And you know exactly what it wants. You squeeze your left thumb and open wide.

Karkat’s bulge dives into your waiting mouth and then goes further. The best and worst thing about bulges is they want to stretch or contract to fit whatever space they’re in and then wiggle around in there. In this case, that means filling your mouth to capacity and then sliding down your throat, completely sealing your mouth around it. Karkat roughly grabs your hair and shoves you forward until your lips are wrapped around his base.

“Fucking take it…” He repeats, his voice still gruff but starting to lose some of the edge. He leans back against the wall and you hear a soft “fwump” as his pants fall to the floor. His bulge pulses, the tip wriggling around in your throat. He’s enjoying this. Good.

And so are you. You close your eyes and suck, doing your best to pleasure him. Fucking shit, you love how troll dick tastes. It’s not really sweet, not like your dumb monkey brain first thought it would be based on the color and honey-like consistency of the slick. It’s salty, and the texture is almost a little oily, but otherwise hard to describe. Would you believe alien dick doesn’t really taste like anything on earth? The important thing is it tastes like sex and you’ve been hooked since the first taste. You don’t care that his little accessory tentacles roam over your lips and face, or even that sometimes they’ll try to get frisky with your nose. You just love having something big and solid in your mouth. You love deepthroating even more, having someone just take control and force you to pleasure them at the expense of your lungs. Especially when he’s talking down to you like this, calling you all kinds of nasty stuff that you’re barely listening to because it’s the _tone,_ that possessive, angry tone that matters.

You wish John would pop back in right now. You wish he’d come back and yank your pants down and help Karkat spitroast you because you’re real ready for some action now. You shift your legs, trying to rub against your thigh and/or the bit of packer that slipped out of place. Whatever, you don’t care. But you have something you can actually call a dick now and you _need_ something touching it.

But the bad news is that eventually, your lungs have to win. Because trolls don’t thrust the way humans do, you’ve got fewer chances to catch a couple quick breaths. His instinct is to lock in place and just hold, bulge pulsing and writhing to try to find a seedflap your throat doesn’t have (and god you’re glad it can’t quite get to your epiglottis). When black begins to creep into the edges of your vision, you give him two quick taps on the hip.

Even as frustrated and domineering as he is right now, he instantly releases his grip on your hair. You pull back just far enough to take a few deep breaths. You’re already a mess, but his main bulge makes it worse, tracing patterns on your cheeks, your shades, your forehead. Then when you feel better you open back up again.

“No,” He says, actually pulling your head back so you don’t take him again.

“No?” You repeat.

“No. You said we could fuck. I wanna fuck.” He lets go. “I’m not gonna wait long. I want to be in our bedroom _now.”_

“What do you want me to flashstep us or?”

He rolls his eyes. “No, I want you to pick me up daintily and carry me bridal style with all the love in the world. Fucking read a room, Strider!”

You grin and get to your feet. “Whatever you say, boss!”

Karkat is actually a lot heavier than he looks. A lot of trolls are. They’re built with a lot of muscle and you think their bones are made of different shit too. Probably chitin or something. Is chitin heavier than bone? You’re not sure. But you are also stronger than you look, so while you can’t just throw him over your shoulder like John can, you _can_ pick him up enough to teleport up to the second bedroom. And then you shove him backwards, making him fall onto the mattress just for a bit of pizzazz. He looks at you and scowls.

“What?”

“Seriously Dave?”

_“What?”_

“Why am I on my back without pants?”

Oh, right. You’ve got a half undressed troll spread eagle on the edge of the bed looking up at you, while you’re standing there confidently and fully-dressed between his legs. Probably not exactly what he was hoping for. You’d think maybe the jizz all over your face would make it seem a little less like you were about to top him, but whatever.

Like the conscientious lover you are, you tear off your clothes as quickly as you can. But you do mutter, “Bruh it wasn’t like I was gonna tuck you back in and zip you up nice and pretty if we were just gonna get naked again…” Which does elicit an eye-roll.

Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to really put him out, because while you’re peeling your binder off he sits up and attacks your jeans. He shoves them and your underwear down, letting you kick them off while Karkat peels off his shirt. Your packer flops to the floor, and you make a note to pick it up later because otherwise one of your asshole boyfriends will put it in a really awkward place. Like in your breakfast cereal.  But for now you’re too busy worrying about the real dick in front of you. You slide onto the bed, crawling forward on your hands and knees. When you get into position you take off your shades, then turn to look at Karkat and wiggle your ass at him.

He needs no further invitation. The troll climbs on top of you, using more of his nails than is strictly necessary to get you in position under him. His bulge instantly strikes out, feeling up your thigh and your butt cheeks even before Karkat gets properly into position.

You hear a question start to form in Karkat’s throat, but before he can get it out you say, “Whichever hole it finds first. I don’t care. Just fuck me.”

“Heh, God, you really are horny.”

Your lips twitch up into a smile. Looks like he’s starting to feel better already. “Yeah yeah, T makes me a cockslut. Whatever. Tease later, pound now.”

The tip prods at the edge of your nook, but Karkat doesn’t let it go in. You whine.

“Come on, dude!”

“Who’s in charge?”

“Ugh, you are. But come on, I need it!”

He doesn’t move.

“…Please?”

“That’s better.”

Fucking _finally_ he lets his bulge lash forward. It fills you the way it filled your mouth before, its soft length winding and curling to fill you up perfectly and give a nice, uniform stretch.

You let out a _very_ pleased groan and then add, “Aw, fuck yeah, raw me, baby!”   

“Shit, I don’t even need to ask if you’re good,” Karkat muses, nuzzling your neck. He begins pulsing, fucking you in the way you’ve come to know and love. “Fuck you’re so loose… Why a-? Oh. _Oh._ Fuck, Dave, you weren’t lying.” He starts writhing more, pulsing harder. “Mmm I can smell him on you. Shit, you really have been such a needy slut lately. One of us wasn’t enough for you, huh? Bet you wish mister six and a half inches was back here right now…”

“I mean…” You lick your lips. “If he was I wouldn’t turn it down.”

“Nuh-huh.”  He drapes himself over you and leans down to growl in your ear. “Tonight you’re _mine.”_

His words send a shiver down your spine.

“But, if you’re going to be this desperate and this loose…” He reaches into the bedside table. You watch in confusion as he pulls out one of the slimmer vibrators. Then he pulls out of you.

“Noooo…” You whine.

“Shush.”

“Dude, please, I’m begging you for real this time. Don’t just sit there and masturbate in front of me!”

“As fun as that would be, that’s not the idea.” He reaches down and places the vibrator near his bulge. As it wraps around the shaft you realize what’s going on. And then to confirm it, he says. “If I’m not enough for you by myself, I’m not above a little artificial help.”

“Oh my god…”

“You’re damn fucking right.”

He steals a quick kiss before lining back up and easing himself back into you.

It’s a much slower process this time. You don’t think it’s easy for him to hold onto a sex toy like that – bulges are pretty dexterous but they’re not built for that, and it’s definitely a lot tighter of a squeeze. Your arms give out and you squeeze the pillow tightly. He clutches your hips, reaching up every now and then to stroke your back or your side. The two of you give each other little praises and bits of encouragement; him soothing you and you telling him he’s clear to keep moving, both of you saying how good you feel and how much you want him back inside of you.

But then eventually he stops. He’s not quite all the way in, but that little part of your brain that’s still truly conscious reminds you that toy is a bit longer than you are deep. If he doesn’t want to impale himself, it’s not gonna be able to be flush with your ass. The rest of you feels a combination of awe that you’re taking two shafts at once, and disappointment that Karkat’s not actually sheath-deep in you. Then there’s a little confusion as he curses and goes to fiddle with something.

Then every single one of those emotions shatters as the vibrator comes on. He _roars_ in your ear and for a second you think he’s going to come right in your nook. He squeezes your hand so tightly his knuckles go white. All the two of you can do is breathe and try to remember which way is up.

“Okay,” He breathes after a few minutes. “Okay, okay…” And then he begins to move. There’s still pulsing and wiggling, of course, but he actually rolls his hips. It’s not as natural of a motion as it is for you or John, but he’s fucking you. It’s slow at first, like he thinks one of the other of you is going to shatter like spun glass.

But then you look over your shoulder and make a simple request.

You ask for more.

He nods back solemnly and picks up the pace. Soon he gets a hang of the motion and fucks you in earnest, still not as deep or as hard as John might have been able to, but who the fuck cares because John’s dick doesn’t pulse or writhe against your g spot and it can’t wrap around another dick to be the biggest thing you’ve ever taken.

You start to moan and beg. You think. It’s hard to keep track. Your mouth just goes on autopilot when you get pounded and today is no exception. You vaguely acknowledge that Karkat’s saying some self-praising, self-aggrandizing shit, the kind of thing you haven’t heard him try to pull off in almost a decade. But right now it’s working and you just give him the responses he wants. Anything to get him to keep fucking you like this.

But all too soon, he can’t keep doing it. He shoves his blessed bulge and vibrator combination in as deep as it’ll go and then goes back to squirming around.

“Close?” You ask.

“Hnng… very.”

“Should I get the bucket?”

“No, not yet. Wanna… Wanna show you something.”

Before you can ask, he does something that you’ve never felt him do before. Those helper tendrils reach out and curl around the base of your dick. They’re warm and wet and pulse and writhe just like the rest of him, and they’re engulfing you, jerking you off.

You yelp and then moan, “Hoooly shit!”

“Like that?” he traces the curve of your stomach before sliding between your legs, rubbing you (and his tendrils) ever so lightly.

“Fuck yeah!” You exclaim.

“Good,” He says, letting some purr seep into his voice.

“God- fuck-“ It takes a lot to make you fully tongue tied, especially since you’re usually a babbler. But now… you can’t get a single word out. The closest you get is a wordless groan as lightning races through every vein in your body and an intense full-body orgasm rocks you. It feels like the only solid thing in the world is the vibrator buried deep inside of you.

You try to collapse completely, and you succeed when Karkat pulls out of you. He reaches under the bed franticly, but you already see genetic material starting to leak from the tip of his bulge and his nook. You freeze time, allowing you to move lazily to fish out the bucket, and then to position it between his legs. You even do him the solid of wrapping your fist around his bulge and sliding too fingers in his nook before you unfreeze things.

He panics for a moment, like you haven’t done this a dozen times, but then as soon as he sees you smiling there he relaxes, allowing himself to come. You hold him through it, while he reaches over and clutches you. After he finishes and flops back onto the mattress you realize he came a lot more than usual.

“Have a good time?” You ask.

“Fuck yes.” He breathes.

“Feeling better now?”

“Yeah. Thanks. Come snuggle?”

“Sure. Just one minute.”

You get up and go to the foot of the bed. You wipe your hands and face off with Karkat’s shirt, which thankfully he seems too blissed out to care about. Then you go to your pants and get your phone.

When you turn back to the bed, Karkat rolls onto his side and lifts an arm, a clear invitation for you to be his little spoon. You shimmy up beside him and let him wrap around you.

“Hey Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. I needed that.”

“My pleasure, babe,” you say as you open your phone.

“What’s up?”

“Texting John, telling him Hurricane Karkat has blown over.”

“Mmm-hmm. I recall that you were the one doing the blowing this time.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You type a quick message to your other boyfriend. Informing him that when he gets home you’re in the “sexond” bedroom (which really started as a typo which was too good to let die) if he wants to come snuggle.

John responds quickly.

“Huh,” you say.

“What?”

“He’ll be back soon, but apparently when he poofed off he realized that even if the fishs ticks were a bad lie, we _did_ need tartar sauce.”

“Seriously?” he snorts.

You smile. “Well, this is why _I’m_ on Karkat relaxing squad and not the dork.”

“Mmm, that’s true. I hope you know that you do a good job.”

“Thanks.” You close your eyes and lean back against his chest.

It’s quiet for a few beats, then Karkat speaks up again. “Hey Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“And…” He shuffles a little awkwardly. “I’m sorry if I ever get to be… a lot.”

“It’s fine, dude. I like a lot. Especially right now. Any time you wanna just go to town and rail me, hit me up.”

He snorts.

“I’m not kidding. I am so horny. Like all the time these days.”

“Well…” He gives you a kiss on the back of your neck. “I’ll see what we can do.”


End file.
